Today, I want to address all women out there suffering from physical pain. Through my own experience, I will share my thoughts, knowledge, strength, and solutions. We all deal with grief differently. We seek professional help, take strong medications, tryout whatever is out there, but in the end, we still suffer. When there is no solution, we become bitter, vulnerable. That’s when we question God, hate the world, feel hopeless, helpless, depress, and even suicidal.
As we go through our day to day life activities, the agony makes us snap at our loved once. Most of the time, we try to hide our discomfort with a smile, but the expression of pain on our face sends a different message. The more we go on trying to act perfect and continue with our tasks, we were taken for granted. We expect others to understand our agony, but no one can see or know what we are going through or the depth of our anguish. That makes us unhappy, sad, and lonely, but as mothers, wives, and friends, we continue with our daily tasks, through intense pain.
We can live with physical impairments. We don’t have to let it take over our lives. We hold power to put the pain at its place. First, recognize the situation, gather all the facts, is there a cure for it, try out all means of support, medicine, physical therapy, and surgeries. When you can’t find a solution, the ultimatum is to live with pain, you accept it. Then you take all the precautions to minimize the suffering without fighting it. Learn to live through it by taking control of the situation. Accept it as a part of your life. Don’t blame yourself or anyone else for your dismay, and let go of self-pity, do not seek attention or understanding from anyone. Do not think pain is a curse or a punishment. We can’t blame others for it, just the same, we can’t expect others to understand it. No one else can see your dismay or feel your agony, not your spouse, children, or friends. So why get angry with them for not understanding your suffering? Why wait for their pity or acknowledgment? Why nag and nag until your children get tired of hearing you complain?
Don’t feel sorry for yourself, or spend too much time focusing on it. The more time you spare to those negative feelings, you give it more power, and pain controls you. Let go of all that negativity, find the strength and wisdom to overpower the suffering. I am not saying you not going to hurt anymore, but it will become much more tolerable.
Once you accept your physical impairment as a part of your life, then you put yourself first in everything you do. Your comfort becomes a priority in everything you do. Be selfish, and find ways to minimize your suffering. Figure out what triggers your pain, what activities make it worse, and try not to overdo it. Always listen to your body. Don’t worry about what others think and say, focus on yourself and do what is necessary to not go over your limits. Ask for help when you need to, don’t try to be a hero and try to do everything yourself when your body says otherwise. Carry a cushion in your vehicle, put extra pillows on your bed for support, take many breaks during activities, think about ways to make you comfortable with making your life easier. You may think, what about my children, my husband and family, they expect me to do things; this is where you need to be selfish. Remember, they can’t see or feel your pain, it is up to you to take care of your body, no one else is going to do it for you.
A river that falls from hills and runs through valleys, with twists and turns beautify the landscape. Pain and suffering are the twists and turns in the lives that give meaning to life, teach us patience, make us humble, compassionate, and open our eyes to a new understanding. We learned to look at things differently. Flowers bloom and die in a short life span, but during that short time, it spread joy, a breath of freshness, sweet scent and beauty, without taking anything in return. We are like flowers, we are here on earth to give without reason, fill the world with love and harmony. Pain is a part of life; it is the building block that makes us who we are. If you can accept your suffering as a gift, acknowledge it and live through it, you can learn to live again. Just think to yourself, this is my body, my suffering, and my pain. No one is responsible for it, whatever the situation may be, tell yourself, you can live through it. Then make a plan to take care of yourself, with minimal expectations from others. Find a way to advocate for yourself, make sure you choose the right medicine. Research and find the best physician, do the work, if necessary, work your body as much you can to keep your mobility. Find a happy place, if you can walk, go for a walk, breathe fresh air, find something that makes you happy. When it comes to pain, it is okay to be selfish, to take care of yourself, spare time to pamper yourself, to find joy to make things right by you, to live through your pain, you do need that selfish distraction. It will give you a new meaning to life.
It is okay to be selfish!
Thank you for reading my blogs. Please leave a comment and come back.
Bea