NO Winning at the End!

My heart is aching does not know why
Warm breath escapes with a sigh
Teary eyes focus on nothing
Emotions run high
Four wheels carry me eighty miles an hour
Each breath gets heavier with speed
At a distance, the beauty unfolds
Colored foliage glimpses through the mist
Grasps me in a spell when passing by
Wheels rolling mind raising, going back in time
Recalling the past, fleeting through eras in a flash
Memories so vivid, playing in slow motions
Where to halt, where to begin there’s no control
My mother so very young and beautiful
She walks the streets searching for me,
I have run away from home, and past become present
I ache for the agony I have caused her
My head rested on my father’s belly
His laughter echoes as he shares his adventures
Oh, Pappa, how I wish I could see you again
Decades passed, and now I am with my brother,
We talk about life, human intelligence
He reads my palm, and I believe his predictions
In an instant reality hit, he has been gone for a while now
Anger rising, I call out, where are you?
Why don’t you speak to me?
Could you show me a sign as you promised?
I search for clues among the clouds,
Mist on the windshield, and I listen, but there is none.
The emptiness fills my heart again
Hopelessness is a bitch
My siblings, how they deserted me,
Watery eyes get blurry, and tears trickle down
A love song on the radio warms my heart
It takes me back to my first love, oh, how I adored him
His betrayal my defeat doesn’t hurt anymore
The poetic mind creates notions, using memoirs from past
Question my credence
Why do we suffer, worry or struggle?
Fights to win, reach for goals, and make commitments?
Raise kids only to hand them over to strangers
Now I see no value in anything life has offered
We were given a borrowed time with borrowed life
Nothing belongs to you, not even your body
It is only YOU from Beginning to End
When you look in the mirror, who do you see?
It’s not your child, parent, sibling, or friend
Study that face looking back at you
What do those eyes say? Do they look sad or happy?
Do they look tired, depressed, or satisfied?
Make it your chore to make yourself happy,
Enjoy now and live in this moment to the best
Take care of yourself, like you took care of others
In the end, nothing matters, there is no choice but to give in
There is no winning at the finish line of life!!