Love – Beatrice Fernando

Life Realized!

Betrice Fernando — Sat, 28 Oct 2023 14:59:17 +0000

I am going down a path I have traveled many times. The Fading leaves colorize the hills and Valleys like a neatly woven blanket. The narrow, winding path shows no sign of direction, destiny not in site, hidden among the hills at a short distance. I hold on to the wheels, dare not blink or look around, not to go off the hill. The danger disappears in the hypnotic beauty surrounding me, with the vibrant, colorful foliage confining me in a breath I couldn’t inhale. A Moment of awakening!

The young, healthy greenery that carpeted these hills once, now at the end of its time, still vibrant, falling off its holds, gracefully weaving a colorful blanket covering the hills and mountains far and near before giving its last in nourishing the grounds. I’ve seen it from beginning to end, the cycle of life, how nature accepts it with pride, playing its part, and giving it all to the end!

Another life lesson realized: wisdom falls on me like I am at the end of time. My breath is shallow, and my eyes tear with a peaceful wave. My thoughts are questioning: can it be now, today, or years from now, but it doesn’t matter? I feel ready now to accept the unknown and embrace what’s beyond. No need for struggle, begging for more time, or fear to say goodbye to this borrowed life? Parents, children, life partners, and even the pets we loved dearly were borrowed to fulfill this life. Nothing belongs to us; everything we received in this lifetime we must return at the end.

Accepting this realization is not easy. We each face those moments differently, depending on how we have lived. Returning moments can come in many ways, like fear, troubles, struggles, regrets, and physical and emotional pain. When I think of my parents, I remember the tears and the happy smiles on their fallen faces; I did not see hope there, but love, only love. In their lifetime, they suffered and struggled, but they faced all those life sorrows with a smile on their face and strength in their heart. I have never heard them complain about anything or anyone, never showed disappointment, or blamed anyone but lived their life to the fullest. In the end, did they realize that their lives were borrowed, the time was borrowed, that we, the children, were borrowed and had to let go? Is that why the last hugs from my mother felt a bit longer than usual? Is that why they didn’t struggle, scream, or cry at their last breath? They just went to bed and peacefully, gracefully said goodbye to this borrowed life as they left their bodies. I see that as a blessing! How can we all breathe our last that peacefully, to let go of our time, life, family, friends, connections we made, and lastly, our body to go beyond to the unknown?
With this realization, my soul is awakened, and I find peace. I feel ready to give back all that I have borrowed without regrets. I feel no need to struggle or beg for more time; I will have no last words or requests to fulfill. When that time finds me, just like my parents, hopefully, I can leave in peace!

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. I hope you find a lesson here. Please leave a comment!

Bea

Back in a cocoon!

Betrice Fernando — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 17:23:18 +0000

A butterfly, just out of a cocoon
flutter its wings Soar high without terminus
Dash of rainbow colors sprinkle its wings,
Snowy clouds erase its path
As it grasps new heights
A murmuring breeze spins around it
Smothering in infinite bliss,
As it glides up and above
Bounded in beauty, harmony, and serenity
It perceives no confines as it reaches for the stars
No agony, grief, or qualms on site
Nothing to gain; dreams realized
Cause up there beyond the horizon
The time stood; still; life fulfilled
Ecstatically it rises against the sunset
Time is up; the rule of nature calls in
Nothing last forever!
Losing its grasp, it falls, shedding its wings,
Lands on a shrub branch, a caterpillar.
It moves slowly, and reality hits.
Hunger, ache, and misery return in a flash
Destiny calls as it curls into a cocoon
hangs in a thread waiting, life cycle in reverse
Life was, life is, and life will be
As it should be, to the rule of nature!!

I haven’t written for a while, and hope you see what I saw in these words. Please leave a comment.

Thanks for reading, Bea

Picture credits: Quang Nguyen Vinh

Listen To Nature!

Betrice Fernando — Sat, 10 Jul 2021 00:59:11 +0000

Just a thousand steps into the wild, the story of nature unfolds
A gush of wind cleansed me with a million scents it met
Its calming whisper tickled my ears
As it soared in a flash with a tender swift
Trees waved, and leaves applaud
Blossom opened its lips to embraced its warmth
Falling leaves waltz graciously without remorse
Listen, you’ll hear it cries as it kisses the earth
Entangled and secured, our secrets flew far into the horizon
You can listen to the ground mourns and laugh as it shelters the creatures
Bees gossip with birds’ tweets, and butterflies whirred in the harmony
Fields swayed rhythmically, weaving a foliage runner
Cascading waterfalls flourished hills and valleys stretched in the distance
Streams chanted its glory, attesting the beauty of struggle
Snow white clouds drew visual figures up above on the blue sky
Ocean screamed as it hauls the waves losses its grip
Fading Footprints immerse in bubbles as they dissolve under
Life is in a trance, nature in control
If you stay still and listen, it murmurs the answers to your queries.

Bea

What Is Death?

Betrice Fernando — Mon, 03 May 2021 12:50:14 +0000

My heart is saddened and ache for my brother! For the first time, I experienced how death comes without warning or sign. Death can call on you any day, any second at a time that you least expected. I have lost my parents and two sisters to death, but they prepared me for their passing in some ways. But with my brother, it was sudden, unexpected, and unbelievable. Within a month, my brother went from a vital, happy, vibrant living to a hopeless, helpless without a choice accept death without a fight. One minute he was talking, smiling, and the next, he is vulnerable, unable to walk or speak, and within a few days, he was gone. So unexpected and suddenly. I have never experienced anyone living one minute to the nest wondering if he would wake up the next day. I have discussed death, in my previous blogs, about what to do, how to prepare for it, and what I would do before my last breath. Now, I have witnessed death up close and personal, and now I have more questions, and so feel so lost. I am in shock!
The moment we come into this world; we have a target on our back; that is death! Just like birth, death is final. We can’t prevent it, postponed it, or hide from it. But what’s important is what we leave behind. If you find out you are dying in a few years, months or days, what do you do, and how do you feel then? How do you plan to get ready for that last moment?
My brother, a hypnotist, a psychic, and a healer who read palms and predict their future and lived up to his mystical beliefs, yet, didn’t see his own future and was blind to his own fate. He was the healthiest, robust and happy individual I had known next to my father.
I believed he would live for at least another ten years. A couple of years ago, his son passed away and he lost his balance and concentration in life. He suffered immensely and tried to find ways to come to terms with it. He had tried to understand death, life and talked a lot about it. He was finding his way back to life when he was diagnosed with rare cancer undetected until in his last stage. He took this news smiling as if he could deny death. He showed his palm to me and said, “According to my lifeline, there is no death or even a sickness for me right now; I am not going to die for another seven years, I will be cured, I will heal my cancer, and I will survive.” He held on to those beliefs to the end, when at last, he said, “don’t be afraid. I am getting ready for my journey.” Within a week, he lost his strength, speech, and mobility. The seven years turned into seven days, and he passed peacefully.
I cannot come to terms with his passing and how he remained vital to the end. He showed no signs of pain, physical or emotional, did not complain or desired anything. He was cheated out of his life, and I struggled to understand how he managed to stay so calm in the face of death. When I questioned him about his last wishes, he showed no interest in anything. I thought he looked helpless, betrayed and confused, about what was coming. Was he, though? How will I know what his thoughts or feelings were? If he wished to be left alone, did he enjoy seeing us speaking to us? Did he want to share what he was feeling? Did he really saw his deceased son, whom he called out for at the end? How did he show such strength and unshaken to the end? My brother’s death was an experience that has shaken my world and wounded me deeply. Helplessly, I am searching for answers for what he believed and what was bestowed in me. With my brother gone, I am the only one left in my generation to believe in the healing power we have within us. I witnessed it through my father and my brother, and with them gone now, I have no one to learn from to challenge my beliefs. I believe we are born with such human spirit and mental power to overcome anything in this life, and those who trust in their own strength can attain that gift and become healers in this world.

These were his thoughts he put down in writing during the few months when he was mourning for his son. I would like to share them with you.

THE MEANING OF DEATH: by Neville Fernando
“I believe that life and death coexist. If there is life, death certainly follows it. Life appears to have originated armed with death. Thus, death has a vital role in the process and purpose of the journey of life. Let us try to understand what death is. Death appears to free life from the body, which was designed according to the instructions given by the DNA. The DNA provides specific instructions to use the natural resources available on earth to construct the body in its unique way. This body made up of natural elements forms a temporary vehicle for life. Life animates the body to carry on its daily activities until the body becomes unfit or incapable of continuing those activities. Then, death occurs, and the body crumbles to return all the elements it borrowed back to earth. On the other hand, life is not made up of borrowed elements and does not appear to crumble. Life seems to be liberated or freed and does not end. When we consider these ideas, we cannot understand what happens to life after the body’s death. The body cannot house life for an indefinite length of time. The length of time a body can host life varies from one to another. Why? What happens to life when its host body dies is mainly speculation. Different religions offer varying answers. Rationalists and Scientists provide other solutions. All their answers fail to convince me but only create new questions. Therefore, I continue to seek satisfying or convincing answers to these questions of life and death. According to Buddhist philosophy, let me briefly explain the relationship between life and death, which originated from Hindu philosophy.
Karma is one word used to explain every event in the life of a human being. Karma is the sum total of every action and reaction experienced in the life of an individual. These actions and reactions are responsible for the successes and failures, pains and pleasures, and all the experiences of a person’s life. It is written, “As you sow, so shall you reap. “According to the Eastern philosophies I mentioned, Karma accompanies every birth and death. Birth and death are continuous cycles, and what a person enjoys or suffers in life is related to the Karma that accompanies him from his previous state of existence. Buddhists believe that life is a cycle of suffering as long as you carry the karmic baggage of debts. Once you pay off the karmic debts fully, you are liberated from the cycle of birth and death to attain Eternal Bliss or Nirvana. Once birth stops, there is no death. Life cannot die.
Another theory that originated in Hindu philosophy is the theory of reincarnation. Reincarnation means that the nonphysical essence of a living being after biological death and transformation begins a new life in a different physical form or body. This is also called rebirth. During the fifth – fourth century, Plato believed in the reincarnation of the immortal soul and argued about it, making logical conclusions. Socrates used the logic of opposites to debate the possibility of reincarnation. Pythagoras believed in reincarnation and claimed to remember previous reincarnations. In the Jewish world, the idea of reincarnation is accepted teaching of the Hasidic community and in Kabbalah teachings of Jewish mysticism. Both Judaism and Christianity believe in a doctrine more challenging compared to reincarnation. That belief is the resurrection of the dead. This is the belief that our dead bodies will someday be revived and brought back to life. Look at John: 11,25-26. Jesus told Martha, sister of Lazarus, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this? “A little later, Jesus resurrects Lazarus from the grave. In the light of the records shown above, it is clear that death cannot end life. Death appears to reinvigorate life to spring forwards in its journey. What really is the Truth? Suppose reincarnation supported by the laws of Karma is true. Then, Jesus Christ, Prophet Mohammed, Gautama Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, and other great personalities that appeared from time to time to teach the importance of love, compassion, humility, justice, and forgiveness to mankind may have been the same reincarnated person returning to complete the work that was predetermined at a certain point of time. Therefore, another coming of that being in the future in a different body or form is possible to complete the work.
On the other hand, if the resurrection is true, the resurrected person will have the same body with all the memories but with the gift of immortality to reach the desired destination uninterrupted by death. This thought appears to be more challenging and desirable. If none of these lines of thought are correct, what other possibilities are there?”

If you read this blog, please leave a comment, I like to know your thoughts on this subjects. Thank you.

Bea

Happy New Year!

Betrice Fernando — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 16:32:55 +0000

We have traveled a shady, lengthy, and complicated tunnel for almost a year, and the end seems within reach. The light is up for grasp. The journey was dreadful, filled with crises, Suffering, struggle, and death. Pain and Suffering became a part of living: loved ones dying alone, no funeral services, no hugs, and support for comfort. The silent war of Covid has victimized 76.8 Million and the death toll amounting to 1.69 Million worldwide and still counting. By midnight of December 31st, many more will join that number and will be missed by families as they ring in the new year 2021. With teary eyes, an ache in hearts, you will acknowledge the empty chairs at the holiday dinner table and their face on the holiday pictures.

The memories of 2020 will not be happy, and soon it will be a distant memory. But it will remind you what you have overcome, so be grateful for your survival. Remember the sacrifices made by those who cared for the sick who held their hands when they took their last breath, how we have come together to protect each other, staying in lockdown, giving up travel, holiday functions, and being in isolation and dealing with depression. We have suffered through and through and have survived so far. Soon the year 2020 will be behind us, along with the devastating dilemma we suffered. With promising COVID vaccines on board, we will ring in 2021 with optimism wishing for a healthy life for all. The lessons we learned through the grief-stricken tragedies we endeavored has given a new meaning to life. We were made more potent, tested to the extremes, and the will to survive. Trauma and Suffering always bring out the best in us and makes us better people. Hopefully, with eyes open, knowledge sharpened, we should recognize that we need to work in unison to take on the responsibility to make this a better place for our children. The task at hand is to care for Mother Earth, help halt pollution, enrich our environment. Breathing fresh air, consuming food that’s not toxic, and nourishing the earth we walk on may avoid future disasters, pandemics, tsunamis, earthquakes, and so forth. Why not believe in science, support, and help prevent more harm to our earth before we destroy it forever.

Let’s be optimistic as we welcome the year 2021 and work together to bring a better, safer, and healthy new year for all humanity, and try our best to be a part of taking care of one another and our earth!

Wish you all a Healthy, Joyful Prosperous life in the New year 2021!

Bea

Before You Say Goodbye!

Betrice Fernando — Thu, 29 Oct 2020 18:12:52 +0000

We may not have grown up together.
Played no game or fought as children
Had not walked to school beside you
But we were siblings, for we had one father.

There is much I’d love to know about you.
The life you lived and grew up without us.
The heartaches and suffering you had endeavor
Who gave you the strength to overcome life battles?

We met only on a few occasions.
Not much time to build a rapport
Your humor attained my devotion.
But I loved it when you called me “Nanga.”

Our father loved being around his children.
I loved to be among my siblings.
We only have a handful of those occasions.
I treasured every moment when you joined in

I remember those few instances we met as adults.
How we laughed at your jokes at father’s funeral
When you sang at our familial gathering
Would that be the last memory you will leave behind

If we ever had any hurt or mistakes among us
I ask for your forgiveness, for you already have mine.
Let there be no doubt or regret for mishaps in the past.
Shed a tear reflecting only of the good times

I want to say I love you while you are still with us.
I hope you will not have any form of suffering till the end.
If your destiny allows it, I will trade place with you.
To spare your life and offer you mine to live.

Love, Nanga

This has been a very unsettling year since the beginning. Each and every person on this earth has been affected one way or the other. Loss of wealth, health, life, and living have altered all human lives, and we learn to live with it. Tomorrow seems so far away, and yesterday was chaotic and today is overwhelming. Hope for a better future at hand, but the path is blocked, so how we find our way is the challenge at hand. Nothing is certain in this time of our existence. What matters is getting through the day, waiting, and hoping for the best. This, too, shall pass, and we will look back one day and tell our children, grandchildren, how we have survived.

My grandson had his first communion, without his family around, no celebration. A happy moment was stolen from a child.
My nephew’s, chemo treatment was delayed, and his cancer has spread throughout his body. He depends on his children, 23, 18, and 13year old, for his care, who are terrified of what’s to come. My brother is dying of an unknown disease, which is incurable. I can’t imagine the state of mind of his wife as she shoulder this burden alone. Would we get a chance to say goodbye to our loved ones, celebrate their life, or offer comfort and support before it’s too late?
Each family is affected and goes through their own suffering, writing their own stories in the book of life. Corona has not favored any but attacks anyone, rich and poor, young and old, with its viper. What remains is to hold our breath, follow safety guidelines, put on our barriers, stay alert, and help minimize the spread of the virus until the vaccination takes control.

I’d ask you to take this time to tell your loved ones how much you love them, forgive for everything, and feel the peace in your heart instead of waiting. What is the point of crying at a funeral if you never took the time to appreciate their lives when they were alive?

Bea

Love and Illusion

Betrice Fernando — Thu, 16 Jul 2020 21:09:37 +0000

Love get to snare you to the core
Eyes wide open but blind with desire
Enticed with beauty envisioned in a fairytale
You give in to the illusion
 
Implied commitments rooted in the heart
Uncensored feelings discard all doubts
New dreams formed in the horizon
You believe in the illusion.
 
Barriers are broken in the enchanted veil
Choices discounted and compromises made
Liberation disputed as you dive in
You go deep into the illusion.
 
When times get tough and complications insight
Praises turn into grumbles
Vows get broken dreams are shattered
You turn away from the illusion of love.
 
Love is selfless, and it gives without reason
It seeks no commitment or loses compassion
Never hold you in disdain or offer ultimatum
Real love is forever, it never falls out of love.

Bea

Key Ingredients To A Lasting Relationship!

Betrice Fernando — Tue, 12 May 2020 21:29:25 +0000

Respect, self-worth, and communication will be on my list of priorities for having a lasting relationship, and this the most difficult and challenging yet wonderful act of humankind.
Unlike the old days, only a few last to celebrate their fiftieth or sixtieth wedding anniversaries. Lack of communication, having less self-esteem, and not being able to respect one another plays a big role in keeping a relationship alive. A relationship is a partnership, a business deal, that gives and takes. If one fails to offer but only takes, that partnership will not last. Relationships begin with different values, and the first attractions are foolish of all and hold no promises to a lasting company. Two people are never alike. Each individual has his or her qualities, behaviors, and beliefs. Therefore, both parties must learn to accept one another for who they are, along with each other’s weaknesses and strengths. A foundation built with respect, self-worth as strength, connected through an open communication line, can guide you to a lasting relationship that may transform to true love.

Respect is the main ingredient to a lasting relationship, and it means to respect yourself, to accept who you are and to be proud of it. Once you have that confidence in yourself, nothing or no one could take it away from you. Just the same, you will not disrespect another. I was attracted to my partner for the way he treated me with respect. He believed in me when I doubted myself. Trusted me to make my own rules and gave me space to live my life. He demanded nothing and didn’t pressure me to comply with his needs. I felt no fear or reason to doubt him. Appreciation turned to respect and trust. We fell in love without demands, boundaries, or limits but with assurance. Thirty-eight years later, we are still together, profoundly connected, and without reason. What makes things beautiful and lasting is the freedom we give to one another by respecting our needs and trusting in each other.

Having no self-worth is poison to a relationship. There was a time I had felt unworthy and hated the world for my mistakes. I began to slip away from my family and friends. I saw my partner as an intruder, my children as a burden, and I felt no interest in anything. My achievements held no credits, and my talents had no chance. The amazing part though was my partner didn’t give up on me. He didn’t pity me, or let me be but tried to understand me. By offering the freedom to choose my happiness, he gave me back the value and brought me back to life. Since then, I have grown in many ways. Lead a fruitful life sharing my wisdom with other women who needs the same support. When one feels less worthy, it will eat him/her up alive and will destroy everything that she/he holds dear.

Thirty-eight years was a long time for two people to be in a relationship. The years had taken us through many trials, disappointments, and troubles, but we survived them all because we had a good channel of communication.
No matter how mad or frustrated we were with each other, we took the time to discuss it and find a solution. We agreed to be open, truthful about how we felt, even if it hurts. Without communication, we cannot clear up any misunderstanding, and one will make the wrong decisions, makes the wrong choice. The only way to avoid this was to confront our feelings, discuss, and argue if necessary. By having a good line of communication, issues can get resolved with less disruption.

Bea

Happy Mothers Day!

Betrice Fernando — Tue, 05 May 2020 18:45:16 +0000

Mother, a precious gift that we all are blessed with. Mother is a giver; she gives and gives until her last breath. Starting with giving life, a creation only a mother could do. Then she let her body take over by the new life that’s growing inside her. She nurtures it, protects it, and carry it for nine months while building a new world filled with hopes and dreams for her child. When the time is right, she suffers the worst pain of mankind, to deliver the baby to the new world. At that moment, she teaches her baby about strength, courage, pain, and love. Her eyes filled with tears, body torn and scared she smile when she first holds the infant in her arm, recognize the unbreakable bond between them. When she hears the first cry of her baby, her blood transforms into milk as a token of her unconditional love. Mothers love is the foundation that a child draws strength, spread its roots, and security is built on.
A Mother sacrifices her whole life for her child. She will not complain about the sleepless nights, the strain, or any discomfort that comes along the way. As a newborn, you only recognize the voice, touch, and smell of your mother. She becomes the love of your life. She teaches you to smile, talks, walk and eat. She guides you to be the best you could be and support you in every step you take. Her sacrifices are limitless as you lean on her for support, comfort, and counsel. When you are in pain, trouble, or sad, you seek for your mother. No matter how young or old you are, your mother is always there for you to catch you if you fall, lend a hand when you need it. No matter what you’ve done or who you’ve become, your mother will never turn on you, She is the only person in this entire world you can depend on, and believe in to be there for you without judgment and selflessly. A mother never gives up on her child. Can we say the same as children?

Once we become adults, we forget what our mother has done for us, we have no time to spare, and we fight, argue, complain without reasons. Especially in our teenage years, we create hell for our mothers. We bring so many heartaches to our mothers and make their life intolerable, but mothers are so patient and immune to pain, they stay strong for us without ever giving up. She may be old, bold, fragile, and weak, but her love for us will never fail. Even when she loses authority in her voice or value in her words, she will care and worry about us. Her heart will ache for us forever.
I remember how my mother would stay at the window, waiting for me until I return from work. No matter how late it gets, she would not go to bed until I am home, and it bothered me why she worried so much, but now that I am a mother, I understand the constant worry I have for my children. We take our mothers for granted without any guilt and appreciation. We do all this because we cannot comprehend a mother’s love for her child until we become mothers. I now recognize how much my mother had done for me, the love she showed me, the way she never gave up on me, nothing I did made her despise me. She was someone I could go to any time, with any trouble. She always protected me, took care of me, and sheltered me from the thunder and rain, and fought my battles. Growing up, I hated her, I accused her of not loving me, I created so much trouble and brought her shame. Through all my mistakes and heartaches, she loved me and cared for me. I did not realize how precious my mother’s love was until I became one. This is the cycle that continues.

In many cultures, including mine, a mother is regarded as a precious being, respected, and worshiped. On special occasions, children touch their mothers’ feet to seek her blessings. It is such a beautiful gesture to watch. Buddhists believe in reincarnation, and if that were true, my wish is to be born again to my mother so I can repay my debt and love her the way she deserves to be loved! I love you Amme, even though you are not with me in this world, I believe you are still watching over me, and loving me. Because your love is eternal.

Bea

We will Survive!

Betrice Fernando — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 19:21:28 +0000

Corona, a sneaky vagrant a lethal weapon
Simmering through the nations, polluting any passerby
Crippling all systems, physical financial and our existence
Vibrating with queries to humanity

Men women and children in shutdown
Civilization, communal constrained
Forced into isolation, yet connected
Distanced but united we stand against all odds

Knowledge at its peak life involuntary
Humanity elapsed in a robotic world
Is nature making its case to refine the earth
To draw back the morals of our being

Love, compassion flourishing within us
Time and access stretch out to no limits
Families composed and presented with the prospect
To retell the story of love and compassion

Air untainted, water sterilized
Plants revived and earth serene
We will rise again to new heights
If we obey the rules of humanity

Bea