Wisdom – Beatrice Fernando

What Is Death?

Betrice Fernando — Mon, 03 May 2021 12:50:14 +0000

My heart is saddened and ache for my brother! For the first time, I experienced how death comes without warning or sign. Death can call on you any day, any second at a time that you least expected. I have lost my parents and two sisters to death, but they prepared me for their passing in some ways. But with my brother, it was sudden, unexpected, and unbelievable. Within a month, my brother went from a vital, happy, vibrant living to a hopeless, helpless without a choice accept death without a fight. One minute he was talking, smiling, and the next, he is vulnerable, unable to walk or speak, and within a few days, he was gone. So unexpected and suddenly. I have never experienced anyone living one minute to the nest wondering if he would wake up the next day. I have discussed death, in my previous blogs, about what to do, how to prepare for it, and what I would do before my last breath. Now, I have witnessed death up close and personal, and now I have more questions, and so feel so lost. I am in shock!
The moment we come into this world; we have a target on our back; that is death! Just like birth, death is final. We can’t prevent it, postponed it, or hide from it. But what’s important is what we leave behind. If you find out you are dying in a few years, months or days, what do you do, and how do you feel then? How do you plan to get ready for that last moment?
My brother, a hypnotist, a psychic, and a healer who read palms and predict their future and lived up to his mystical beliefs, yet, didn’t see his own future and was blind to his own fate. He was the healthiest, robust and happy individual I had known next to my father.
I believed he would live for at least another ten years. A couple of years ago, his son passed away and he lost his balance and concentration in life. He suffered immensely and tried to find ways to come to terms with it. He had tried to understand death, life and talked a lot about it. He was finding his way back to life when he was diagnosed with rare cancer undetected until in his last stage. He took this news smiling as if he could deny death. He showed his palm to me and said, “According to my lifeline, there is no death or even a sickness for me right now; I am not going to die for another seven years, I will be cured, I will heal my cancer, and I will survive.” He held on to those beliefs to the end, when at last, he said, “don’t be afraid. I am getting ready for my journey.” Within a week, he lost his strength, speech, and mobility. The seven years turned into seven days, and he passed peacefully.
I cannot come to terms with his passing and how he remained vital to the end. He showed no signs of pain, physical or emotional, did not complain or desired anything. He was cheated out of his life, and I struggled to understand how he managed to stay so calm in the face of death. When I questioned him about his last wishes, he showed no interest in anything. I thought he looked helpless, betrayed and confused, about what was coming. Was he, though? How will I know what his thoughts or feelings were? If he wished to be left alone, did he enjoy seeing us speaking to us? Did he want to share what he was feeling? Did he really saw his deceased son, whom he called out for at the end? How did he show such strength and unshaken to the end? My brother’s death was an experience that has shaken my world and wounded me deeply. Helplessly, I am searching for answers for what he believed and what was bestowed in me. With my brother gone, I am the only one left in my generation to believe in the healing power we have within us. I witnessed it through my father and my brother, and with them gone now, I have no one to learn from to challenge my beliefs. I believe we are born with such human spirit and mental power to overcome anything in this life, and those who trust in their own strength can attain that gift and become healers in this world.

These were his thoughts he put down in writing during the few months when he was mourning for his son. I would like to share them with you.

THE MEANING OF DEATH: by Neville Fernando
“I believe that life and death coexist. If there is life, death certainly follows it. Life appears to have originated armed with death. Thus, death has a vital role in the process and purpose of the journey of life. Let us try to understand what death is. Death appears to free life from the body, which was designed according to the instructions given by the DNA. The DNA provides specific instructions to use the natural resources available on earth to construct the body in its unique way. This body made up of natural elements forms a temporary vehicle for life. Life animates the body to carry on its daily activities until the body becomes unfit or incapable of continuing those activities. Then, death occurs, and the body crumbles to return all the elements it borrowed back to earth. On the other hand, life is not made up of borrowed elements and does not appear to crumble. Life seems to be liberated or freed and does not end. When we consider these ideas, we cannot understand what happens to life after the body’s death. The body cannot house life for an indefinite length of time. The length of time a body can host life varies from one to another. Why? What happens to life when its host body dies is mainly speculation. Different religions offer varying answers. Rationalists and Scientists provide other solutions. All their answers fail to convince me but only create new questions. Therefore, I continue to seek satisfying or convincing answers to these questions of life and death. According to Buddhist philosophy, let me briefly explain the relationship between life and death, which originated from Hindu philosophy.
Karma is one word used to explain every event in the life of a human being. Karma is the sum total of every action and reaction experienced in the life of an individual. These actions and reactions are responsible for the successes and failures, pains and pleasures, and all the experiences of a person’s life. It is written, “As you sow, so shall you reap. “According to the Eastern philosophies I mentioned, Karma accompanies every birth and death. Birth and death are continuous cycles, and what a person enjoys or suffers in life is related to the Karma that accompanies him from his previous state of existence. Buddhists believe that life is a cycle of suffering as long as you carry the karmic baggage of debts. Once you pay off the karmic debts fully, you are liberated from the cycle of birth and death to attain Eternal Bliss or Nirvana. Once birth stops, there is no death. Life cannot die.
Another theory that originated in Hindu philosophy is the theory of reincarnation. Reincarnation means that the nonphysical essence of a living being after biological death and transformation begins a new life in a different physical form or body. This is also called rebirth. During the fifth – fourth century, Plato believed in the reincarnation of the immortal soul and argued about it, making logical conclusions. Socrates used the logic of opposites to debate the possibility of reincarnation. Pythagoras believed in reincarnation and claimed to remember previous reincarnations. In the Jewish world, the idea of reincarnation is accepted teaching of the Hasidic community and in Kabbalah teachings of Jewish mysticism. Both Judaism and Christianity believe in a doctrine more challenging compared to reincarnation. That belief is the resurrection of the dead. This is the belief that our dead bodies will someday be revived and brought back to life. Look at John: 11,25-26. Jesus told Martha, sister of Lazarus, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this? “A little later, Jesus resurrects Lazarus from the grave. In the light of the records shown above, it is clear that death cannot end life. Death appears to reinvigorate life to spring forwards in its journey. What really is the Truth? Suppose reincarnation supported by the laws of Karma is true. Then, Jesus Christ, Prophet Mohammed, Gautama Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, and other great personalities that appeared from time to time to teach the importance of love, compassion, humility, justice, and forgiveness to mankind may have been the same reincarnated person returning to complete the work that was predetermined at a certain point of time. Therefore, another coming of that being in the future in a different body or form is possible to complete the work.
On the other hand, if the resurrection is true, the resurrected person will have the same body with all the memories but with the gift of immortality to reach the desired destination uninterrupted by death. This thought appears to be more challenging and desirable. If none of these lines of thought are correct, what other possibilities are there?”

If you read this blog, please leave a comment, I like to know your thoughts on this subjects. Thank you.

Bea

Letting Go…!

Betrice Fernando — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 21:54:34 +0000

Awaken memoirs stretched in the horizon
Venture the perception of mortality
Queries to the past in contrast to the imminent
Pursuit the riposte to extant

Infancy amid maturity and beyond
Defied huddles destined to the core
Deprived of option to select the end
What lays ahead is unknown.

Don’t argue the rules of humanity.
When to be born or the moment to die?
Who will fail and who will prevail?
Without guidance, life will pass on.

Hold still to the moment in time.
When reality fades and thoughts mingle
Open your eyes to embrace the visual.
Concede the vibration in life and beyond

Bea

The Footprint of Awakening!

Betrice Fernando — Mon, 24 Aug 2020 22:10:32 +0000

Sun retreats in radiance at the horizon.
The hypnotic scent of Jasmine immerses in the dark.
Stream mourns as it falls off a cliff in a haze.
You embrace the beauty with a grin.

Invectives, offenses do not raise your pulse
Agony and grief make you humble
Love makes no strains of tenure
You long to give but pursue no return.

Visions creased but the heart is poised
Dreams are shattered, but ire is not in sight
Trampled to the core, yet seek no reprisal
You are at the root of awakening.

Why do we feel this way?

Betrice Fernando — Sun, 01 Mar 2020 02:10:41 +0000

Today, was one of those days that nothing seems right. I want to go for a walk but have no energy, I am sad but don’t know why. Sense of loneliness overwhelms me, but I am not alone. Feel so down and empty that, I can’t even put my thoughts into words. So, I am just going to write what comes to my mind and share these emotions with you. Because I know, every one of you has faced this kind of days more than ones in your life. It doesn’t matter how strong you are, the family, friends, and support you have around you, on this day, you want to be alone. You want to curl up into a ball and maybe cry without reason. You want to embrace that aching melancholy and feel the beat of your achy heart. Is this what makes us human? Are these the sentiments that make us healthy? Are these the moments that prepare us for life?

I don’t think these emotions come to us without cause. It is, of course, a chemical reaction to something that our body reacts to. It could be something someone said, a misunderstanding or something we heard that we can’t agree with so, our thoughts fight against it, creating this chemical imbalance. Just like the guilty conscience make us uncomfortable, we thrive on acknowledgment. Our body reacts to praise and sarcasm differently. A tiny word can create significant conflict in our minds, and if we can take the time and analyze our thoughts, we may figure out what it is that made us feel this way at this particular moment.

Years ago, I used to feel this way all the time, and during one of those days, my mentor gave me excellent advice. He said, “don’t let anyone else switch you on and off, ” and this advice transformed me. I learned to keep the control switch of my life in my hand. It helped me not to be bothered about what others say or think, as long as I do things according to my heart, my conscience. This practice has helped me to minimize the days I feel the need to be needed, and today is one of those days.

I guess this is my advice to you. Don’t worry about what others think, how they see you, and what they expect from you. Be yourself, listen to your heart, and do what you feel is right. Your conscience is always right, listen to it, and you will not be sorry. Don’t let the others switch you on and off!
Thank you for listening,

Bea
Please come back and leave a comment, I like to hear from you.

Forgiveness is a Gift!

Betrice Fernando — Tue, 28 Jan 2020 13:55:23 +0000

Has someone done you wrong, hurt you, and your heart filled with resentment? Have you hurt someone and you wish and ache for forgives? It is a part of human nature that we hurt the people we love. In our day to day lives, people hurt our feelings, and we do the same to others, sometimes, unknowingly, knowingly, and purposely. We have our own opinions, and our emotions so delicate we attack, and the drama continues. We walk around, with rage, resentment, and in pain without resolution. I like to believe we hurt others by mistake, and misunderstanding plays a big part that leads to hurtful situations. We react without thinking. When we realize we were wrong, it is too late. We hurt our parents, family members, relatives, friends, and even strangers. If we have the power to fix it, why not at least try?

I grow up believing that my mother didn’t love me. It was a misunderstanding that led me to a different path. My mistakes, my actions hurt my parents, siblings, and my child. It took me a long time to realize how much my parents have loved me, especially my mother. I carried a lot of guilt and regrets into my adulthood. I wanted to set things right with my mother and to reach out to my siblings, who didn’t care much about me. But it needed strength, to accept I was wrong, to be vulnerable, and to set aside my self-esteem.

One day, when I was saying goodbye to my mother, I said, “please forgive me, Mom, for all the heartache I had given you as a teenager, and ever doubting your love for me.” I was crying, and we were hugging, she said, “there’s nothing to forgive, you are my daughter, and I love you,” she said, with tears in her eyes. I saw pride and joy in her face. I knew then that I had done the right thing. In one breath, she had taken my guilt away and had set me free. It filled my heart with love and satisfaction. Today I have no regrets. Thanks to my mother, she showed me how good it feels to be forgiven and forgive. The gift of forgiveness, and to recognize the precious unconditional love of a mother is redemption.

Since that day, I continued my journey of forgiveness, breaking down the walls of anger, revenge, and hate that surrounded my heart, I forgave those that hurt me, accepted them into my life, built new relationships. It feels good to have no fear, anger, or the need for revenge.

I know a father who overlived his son, regrets never telling his son how much he loved him or asked forgiveness for the way he had treated him as a child. Can you imagine the emotional pain he suffers for not making things right by his son? You never want to be in that situation, to live with regret, what-ifs.

Don’t wait for tomorrow to set things right, tomorrow may never come, yesterday is gone forever, today, now is all you have. So, gather up your strength, let go of resentment, forgive those that do you wrong, and ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt, even if they are at fault. Put your self-esteem aside, gather your courage, and tell them you love them, forgive them, and ask for forgiveness. Your heart will be at ease, mind free, and peaceful.

Thank you for reading,

Bea